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Howdy y'all.

Yesterday us Hillbilly's gots together to have yet another trail and this time the trail started in Centreville, VA.  Now, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but I thougts that it wuz spelled Centerville, what the hell is this RE spelling?  Maybe it's French or something...I know, I can ask Menage A Who since her name sounds French! 

So anyways, we started behind the Giant Food store off Stone Road.  When NFHN Blake and I, Sizzle Sac showed up, the hares were no where to be found.  Custer, MIC, and Passion were there and Passion was not wearin' any shoes!  As we consumed our PBR, one of Fairfax finest showed up, but the crazy thing was that this policeman was actually a woman!  Now I don't know much about much, but I thought that a woman's job was to work in the kitchen and then also to make babies.  This lady was a policewoman, the likes of which I have never seen.  Good thing she was looking for some medlin' kids who were up to no good.  At first I thought she was lookin' for Deep Shit, since she could pass as a kid anyday.  So that there cop drove away and then more hashers started to show up. 

I don't know it was the lead hare, Porn to Fail or maybe it was the location or maybe because we were close to the S.H.I.T. kennel place, but we had people like Clean Clam, Parents Weekend with Silver Lining, that Tikki Tikki guy, Cockodile Hunter, Can't Find Pussy in a Haystack, those queers Wreath Around and Gutterballs and even another showing from the Wonder Twinks, Paul I and Paul II. 

Finally the hares returned covered in, wait for it.....WHITE FLOUR!  I guess they were out making cookies on trail or somethin'.  So we waited around for some time, some of us, like Sizzle Sac drank five golden beers before trail started....and some of us gots lost.  Menage, Danny, and NFHN Jessica all got lost driving to the start.  Now again, I don't know much about nothin', but don't Menage have one of them Navigational computers like from that Non Fiction series called Star Trek?  I means, she does have a 4x4 which all Hillbilly's can admire, but that computer thing is supposed to get you where you need to git too....

So Custer did a lame blessing of the hares, with Passion getting more WHITE FLOUR on his face from Porn than the entire group of hares.   Since the first part of trail was Pre Laid, we only had about 5 minutes and then we broke out in song with Joe the Button Pusher.  Now, I thinks that maybe, dependin' on where we starts, it would be a good idea to change the name from Joe to Juan especially to pay respects to the areas taken over but Juan's alikes.....maybe, maybe not, let me ask the RA what he thinks.....

So off we go and I have to chug my beer, not that it's a problem, right Loose?  We start running on that ceement stuff called a sidewalk and all of the sudden I hears this clanking behind me.  Now some may have thought that it was the sound of Gladiator's old Caddy, but no, it was ATWI carrying the Hash Shit, the entire thing, including that helmet that saved my life at the AGM!  I must give an Ole Hillbilly Salute to ATWI for carryin' that thing on trail.  I guess that hateful troll Wreath Around and his partner Gutterballs were too retarded to carry it on trail. 

So we gets to a tunnel, of course we gets to a tunnel.  It would not be a Porn to Fail trail without a tunnel, even when I wuz told otherwise, thanks Blow!  By tunnels and Porn to Fail, how many of you recall the S.H.I.T. trail #369?  We had to crawl through a tunnel that killed my back, and it smelled worse than a horse's ass; at least that is how Loose describes how a horses' ass smells.  Speaking of ass, Danny puts up some great pictures of people getting ass on the hashspace site, thanks!  So we get to that there tunnel and people start going in the water.  I look at NFHN Blake and suggest that we go over the tunnel and cross the highway.  This was a huge mistake!  We gets over the tunnel and start finding WHITE FLOUR on the trees.  But then we runs into a YPF, and no that does not mean Young Palestine Federation or Your Pussy Farts, but You've Been Fucked!  It also said to go back to the last true trail arrow which was on the wall of the tunnel entrance.  Well we go back over and don't see no trail, so again we cross the highway and look again.  Nothing, so we go back over, see nothing and so then I use my smartness and convince NFHN Blake that maybe there is a mark in the tunnel, but I laugh cause you can't see nothin' in that tunnel so basically he went in to see zip.  So we decide to go find the walkers trail and run it to finish.  For those who did do trail, I am sorry, but we did not so more trail stories has to be from word of mouth, but don't get too close to Herp's mouth, it might smell like jizz....

NFHN Blake and I catch a ride with Blow and Jeff and then finally gets back to the On In.  We had a variety of beers today including Pale Moon, from the makers of Blue Moon.  There was also a variety of real soda and that the quality store brand soda that we Hillbillies are used to drinking.  Danny, Menage, and Jessica finally made it to trail in the end, but I believe that Haystack man, guy thing was the DFL.  Since we had more people here than usual the circle was kind of unorganized at times and the RA lost control which resulted in a Chinese Fire Drill.  We retired the hash shit and started a new one, but I fergets who ended up with it, those two queers or the Wonder Twinks. 

Speaking of the Wonder Twinks, here is their theme song.

Wonder Twinks Wonder Twinks
We're on our way
We may look alike, and we may act gay
We're not to big and we're not that buff
But when we work together, we got the right stuff
GoWonder Twinks, yea!!

Things we learned at Hillbilly today:

Porn to Fail looks a lot different without a beard.
Deep Shit makes the kilt look perfect!
Menage is not good with electronics.
Sour Snatch has a nasty toenail that made me throw up in my mouth twice, but I swallowed the puke back down both times!
Custer is good at talking to the cops.
Herp likes white stuff all over his face.

I guess that be it fer today.  Dark Side of the Moon is comin' up next weekend, and I don't mean that we are all gonna get together and watch the Wizard of Oz while listenin' to Pink Floyd....

Y'all come back now ya hear?!