Trail #73 Hash Trash

Howdy y'all!

Have you done ever wondered where such phrases like, "where you going to city boy?" or "squeal like a pig!" come from? Well today at the Hillbilly Hash House Harriers we all found out! You see today's theme was The Deliverance Trail. You remember that movie with Burt Reynolds and him shooting that boy and arrow after he went behind that guy and made him sound like a pig....this was also the movie with the dueling banjo scene.....but enough about the past.

Today we started at a church, well a side lot next to a church and met up with our fellow hashers. We even had a few visitors and returners like Gutterballs, Dr. Strangelove, and Iced something or another, I wasn't paying attention since he is from some Yankee Northern City, Cape Cod or something. But just like the South celebrated the invention of Eli Whitney's cotton gin, we celebrated this Northern arrival with open arms and ice cold beer! We stood around for a while waiting on other Hillbilly and some of us even got to try some of Fuzzy Butt's home brew. As we waiting around, Foreskin Bloody Foreskin dressed up like that no tooth guy from the Deliverance movie but he also had that there mask on as well. What, I wonder makes him decide when it is time to take that thing off? Also, why does he just wear it? At least Sour fixed up her mask so that she can drink out of it. Now I ain't claim to be the smart man here, but if that there woman can fix up her mask to drink out of then I hope that some Italian American can do the same. So as we stared at Foreskin and his outfit, we noticed that Menage brought with her some friends and some kin. While I did not get their names cause I don't care to refer to them other than woman or hey you, we did meet Momma Menage. I wonder if those other gals were her sisters and he aunts, but I do not rekon to know. I guess I should have asked Wreath Around if they were related seein' as how he has experience with people being related to each other and family stuff where he came from. Now I would tell you that we started the trail here, but we had to drive our cars off the church property to a local state park. You see, in this here state park, you cannot drink your brew here; we can make the 'shine in the back woods, but can't do no drinking in it. So we bless NFHN Warren since his twink brother, Eat Ticks, Not Dicks.......Yet decided that he wanted to run trail with the rest of us. So Warren takes off and we just hang around for a few and sing that famous song, Joe the Button Pusher and then we were off. Off like a herd of turtles, well at least Wreath and Foreskin were.

This trail was woods, and you know I wonder if us Hillbilly are associated with anything else other than woods and drinking mass amounts of brew? I hope not cause I like those associations. So we are running on trail, through the woods and then we hit the water. Well I guess them they were creeks, but I will just call them waters. There was certainly a lot of water on this trail as well. Not as many ticks, but lots of water. The first shot check was in the water, I believe Herp found it cause we told him there was a quarter attached to it. This first check was made from strawberry, which I recently found out from a school that the strawberry is not really a fruit at all. I thunk that I am dang smart for putting that in this here write up! As we enjoyed this here shot, Schmegg and ATWI brought to our attention that Sept 19 is talk like a Pirate Day and then Schmegg and Sizzle Sac decided to talk like French Pirates for pretty much the rest of trail! So we finally finished the strawberry shot check, which Foreskin pointed out looked like an abortion and continued on our way. I must say however that it was quite delightful for Dr. Strangelove and Sour Snatch to take pictures throughout the day. I am sure that Dueling Banjo's may be the theme for the Dr's showcase, and I am also sure that Sour will get Jed them piksures to put up on his page!

So as we move through the water, it gets deep and then this part of the trail rocks! Well actually it was fun, but there were lots of rocks! In fact, Taste the Rainblow loved the water so much that she done fell in the water. At that point Hangman noticed that when Rainblow fell in that the water immediately smelt of fish, red snapper I believe. So yes we continued through the woods. We seemed to have had three groups at this point. The FRB's and company with ATWI and the Cockodile Hunter in front, the middle group, you know who you are, and Menage's Virgins, Wreath, and Foreskin. We actually did have four groups because Sour Snatch continued to amaze us all with her own shortcuts and pioneering to find us at different locations.

We eventually got to the the second shot check with a nice grapfruit conncockion, but I ain't know nothin' about that fruit. We later found out that it was cranberry and vodka, but I don't see how that is. So the runner group got to this here check and then we waited. We waited and talked about all sorts of fun things like Herp's people walking through the desert, how the red snapper and Blow smelled very similar, the Hillbilly Highland Games, and of course Schmegg and Sizzle continued to sound off as a French Pirate! At one point, ATWI decided to run back and see if he could locate the rest of the group and it turns out that they hit the main road to either leave or find cars. I know that Wreath Around found a car to go back to start, but Foreskin got lost after he was not able to locate the WHITE FLOUR set on trail.

We got to the final shot check which was a nasty Watermelon shot check. Well nasty for me, but both Danny and Cockodile seemed to fancy it quite much. Sour's pioneering got her to where we were and then we continued to the end. This ending was marked with the words SQUEEL, YBF and the hare NFHN Warren waiting for us. Now if you recall and can remember what I done said, we could not drink in the park so we had to drive back to start and listen to Hangman tell us about the time he was in Italy and he actually flew through a windshield. He and that Cape Cod guy also traded off Navy vs Coast Guard jokes.

At circle we had a grand time. It sure is nice to see our Hillbilly's starting to wear their sport kilt to the after circle. They look so nice and purdy. Plus the female hillbilly's look similar to them there Catholik school girls with them short skirts and stuff that even made the hare get a stiffy!

After the violations which I will try to remember, we moved to the naming of the hare, NFHN Warren. In his survey, many of the answers were N/A because you see, Warren here ain't never been with a girl, not even his sister or momma. And by wit her, I mean like naked in the moonlight kinda deal. So this boy ain't had pussy, since pussy had him (Wreath Around, 2010). We found out that he is a member of the Chairforce and we all knew that he likes his gin. You all recall that trail where he done passed out for drinking two quarts or so of Gin. Boy, that is dumber than snow tires on a tricycle. So we send him away with Sour Snatch, who was advised to show off some female aknatomy since Warren's favorite body part of a girl was her face, dumbass and we hillbilly's got to talking. After much discussion about him being a Virginia or flying on Virgin airways, and having a black girl fetish, we finally came up with a name. So from now on NFHN Warren will be known as No Cunt Entry for Airmen!

Damn it, we had violations too, but instead I tell you what we learned on trail today.

The Cockodile Hunter loves the military, but wonders why the Marines don't have a football team to lose to Navy against.

Herpicles is good at talking even when no one is listening.

Schmegg makes a mighty good French Pirate

Hangman can smell Red Snapper a mile or a foot away.

Wreath Around and Menage are engaged but have yet to show us their true feelings. She and by she I mean Menage did blow me a kiss at 7-11, so take that Wreath!

Our great Southern Flag shirts are quoted by Jed Hillybilly!

Oh and of course the hash shit. Many people we picked to receive the hash shit including Sizzle Sac and Herp, but this time the hash shit did not want to return to the shire with Herpicles. Instead it found itself a new owner, two in fact, Danny BD and Foreskin Bloody Foreskin. Since we could not tell by cheer who the hash shit would go to, it was determined with a trial by Down Down. Now even though Foreskin did not try, just like he did not try to get back on trail to complete it, Danny BD had trouble keeping it down. Apparently Senior Semen was not able to give advice on swallowing and keep things down so Danny lost a little of his brew. Therefore Danny BD was awarded the hash shit for Nerd Names.

Now next week the Hillbilly are back in Front Royal and then we return to that lovely home state that Wreath Around is from, West Virginia for the Hillbilly Highland Games. So until then, Squeal like a pig for me boy! Y'all come back now ya'hare!