Hash No: #61 - Dos de Mayo

Date: May 02, 2010

Location: Prince William County, VA

Hares: Soft Serve Custer, Sizzle Sac, and NFHN Raff

Greetings Y’all,

I always prefer when the cops show up before trail ever starts because they were prelaying. It serves two fold to help the hash. First it ensures they have enough time to lay a good trail and to inform the police that we are around and to not be alarmed if some home owners hear noises in the woods. Wait a second no it doesn’t! It makes it less fun for all of us. I enjoy when the cops show and have a stern talking with us. How dare you hares prelay and take away from the excitement that is hashing.

I would have loved to have seen that old women leading the cop in her little convertible down to where Soft Serve Custer was hanging out, getting out of her car and with hand on hip and the other hand pointing at him stating, “There he is officer! That’s the man I saw running through my property dropping white powder.”

I must give Soft Serve Custer props for smoothing it over however and having the women grant us permission to run on her property after all of that. He must really know how to use his tongue to please a woman.

Let the cha cha cha begin! Half minds started showing up with all sorts of Mexican booze for this trail and it is a good thing because our lovely and talented beermeister was lost or laaaaate. NFHN Raff didn’t get the memo that it was Dos de Mayo so he had him mom make us some Limón cello. If his mother is as tasty as her drink she can come in my mouth anytime.

While awaiting for more hashers a family of 4 arrived to use the picnic area near where we were parked. We were on our best behavior for us I will just say.

After some confusing chalk talk from the hares they were off after being thoroughly blessed. The remainder of us just milled about as usual and drank.

The first obstacle we encountered on trail was a beer check with a back check big number. We drank the beer and we were off back to start where we got lost for a little and then continued on our merry way. The pack for some reason on this day was moving very slowly. I don’t want to say we were influenced by the Mexican holiday but it may have been.

At the second beer check that looked remarkably like the first beer check which even contained some of the empties from before we finished them up. The Paul’s decided to cool off in the nasty sewage water while the rest of us were yelled at by Up Chuck Phuck to check for ticks while M-I-C Och Shoots Blanks told us this story about a tick he once had. Once all the ticks were removed we were off again.

At out Third check is was piñata time. For our wacking “pleasure” we were using Loose Change’s anal ass baton to try and bust open this littke Mexican girls head. Once she was decapitated out poured booze just like in real life. We spiked some coke with all the rum and did all the shots. It was truly glorious and delicious of a shot check. .

At some point the pack stopped I think at a dance break or something but we all sort of hung around the corner of this nice little neighborhood while we waited for people to catch up. I think it may have been a siesta check now that I think about it. Siesta we did for lots us were laying on someones grass.

At the end of trail Herpicles and The Cockodile Hunter had a pee-off to see who would be DFL. The last person to finish would be DFL and so it was that The Cockodile Hunter was DFL.

Circle was not as Mexican as I would have thought given the theme but we did have salsa and margaritas. This was a good drunken trail and circle was fun as usual.

Things we learned

NFHN Jess has a big ass toe

All The Way In likes to use Herpicles as a squeegee

A Mexican stand off is a lot like a hash circle

Double your pleasure with Paul’s

Beer tastes great off of a little Mexican girls head

The Cockodile Hunter will take care of your blue balls

Menage A Who? Just needs a hug

Y’all come back for the next trail now ya hare